Silly me. Boarding my recent flight from Boston to Frankfurt, I was envisioning a welcome break from the intense on-the-job training which is modern life. The flight was only a quarter full – plenty of room to stretch out and relax! An immaculately groomed German flight attendant served a delicious dinner complete with complimentary wine. I was thrilled to have my sister with me, providing good company and her fabulous dry wit. To top it off, I had brought along a great book and planned to immerse myself in it. It was one of those “What could possibly go wrong?” times…..
The book I was reading is called The Anatomy of Peace – Resolving the Heart of Conflict. The reference to “the heart” in the title speaks to both looking at the core/heart of an issue and the decisive importance of the state of our hearts – whether we are attempting to make peace from a “heart at peace or a heart at war”. The author was saying that “Peace – whether at home, work or between peoples – is invited only when an intelligent outward strategy is married to a peaceful inward one….. If we don’t get our hearts right, our strategies won’t much matter.” I was reminded of Jesus’s admonition to Peter, saying, “Put away your sword…” when Peter’s instinct was to start a fight with the men who came to arrest Jesus.
In my book, powerful dialog followed, between an Israeli who had suffered profoundly at the hands of an Arab and an Arab whose father was murdered by Israelis. These were tragic stories and reminded me of the agony of our own county, aching for a route to peace. I was reading that the more intense the conflict, the deeper into relatedness we have to go to find true understanding and peace. As Jesus said, “My peace I give you……” (John 14:27) Had he not had a heart of peace, he could not have given peace. My mind wandered off, thinking of situations – both personal and global – to which this concept might be applied.
My drift into theoretical peacemaking was interrupted by a growing confrontation in the back of the plane. I dug deeper into my book…. Perhaps it would resolve itself. Time passed. Nope, not resolving. The volume and the tone in the conflict were escalating. I could feel my body tense with fear.
The fighter was clearly drunk. Anxiety was making its way into our previously-tranquil flight. Passengers looked around; anxious eyes met. No flight attendant around. More from a place of instinctive fear than of love, I found an attendant and explained what was going on.
Before she arrived, another passenger got up and addressed the man calmly – communicating care. He came right up to the agitated man, put his arm around the man’s waist, looked him in the eye and started friendly dialog. “What’s up, buddy? Who are you traveling with? Is your wife with you? Let’s get you back to your seat.” It was a profoundly moving scene. Arm in arm, the two came down the aisle, the drunk man spilling his story to the peacemaker. I felt humbled and not a little ashamed. A palpable sense of relief and “Wow! Why didn’t I think of that?” rippled through the cabin as, with virtually all eyes on him, this peacemaker skillfully de-escalated the situation with man-to-man conversation.
Getting off the plane, I heard multiple people thanking him for handing the conflict so effectively – with a heart of peace.