Shortly after my mom died at age 95 in July, my wife Regina found the following letter in my mother’s desk drawer. Her letter is a brief reflection on her three sons, one of whom is gay. While there is much within the letter, at its core, it reflects not only who my mom was, but the essence of Matthew 22: 36-40. I love my brothers and I love and miss my mom.
Written some time ago by Mardee de Wetter:
“On this small earth, we equally receive the love of God. But as the world sees, we are differently disposed. Some of us have lived the simplest sort of lives, cradled from the beginning by loving parents, growing up in ways that pleased. We had the opportunity to meet and fall in love with God’s own choice for us. We spent our lives in chosen fidelity and in constant love for one another.
When children were born to us, one grew up worldly-wise and made his way, living by prescribed civic rules, honored because of his many contributions and loved by his wonderful wife and children. One was born with great sensitivity and spiritual gifts with which to become a pastor, a preacher of unique ability. He too had the great love of his wife and children. Then among the three sons one was born with a difference, though his talent and intellect told us at once he was gifted.
This special one, the creative child, found his rather lonely place among those who compose the music, play the instruments, paint the art, and pen the books. He learned to fend for himself in a world so hostile that those of us who live in pristine elegance of spirit never know their pain.
Every once in a while God looks down and selects a family, so sublimely blessed with understanding that He says, ‘Ah, here are those that will welcome this child of mine and learn of him and love him. They will always cherish him as my own child, vouchsafed to them. He, in turn, will open doors for all of them as many lives are better for his touch.’
Does it matter then that the self-righteous Pharisees offer him condemnation? Does it matter that the church which nurtured him through childhood now renounces him? Does it matter that he who served his church in its choir, as an acolyte, as a vestryman now finds rejection? It must not matter, because in the end this is God’s world and Jesus takes each one of us unto his breast and comforts us. Our family, learning through its pain, has found that all God’s people are intended to share His Rule of Love, as Jesus, our persecuted Savior, taught the Way.”
Claire Wineland had a national social media following and it is no wonder given her character, strength and wisdom. She died this last week following a 21 year long struggle with Cystic Fibrosis. I never had the blessing or opportunity to meet her, but I wish I had. Near the end of her life, Claire, as quoted on CNN, said, “Go enjoy your life. Really. I mean that seriously. Go enjoy it because there are people fighting like hell for it.”
These are powerful words worth not only reflection, but incorporation. For a number of years I had the privilege of working in oncology with both staff and patients when I was a psychologist. So many of those I worked with, in essence, said the same thing Claire Wineland did as she neared the end of her life.
Enjoying life is not a self-centered, egocentric, narcissistic stance. Rather it is an approach to day to day living that is based on a heart of gratitude. I believe if more of us woke each morning with gratitude and began our days with such intention, we would find our culture to be vastly different than what we are experiencing now.
Fighting, caustic commentary, negativity, hostility, division, hatred, and quick reactivity is not reflective of people who are living from a place of gratitude. Yes we can have passions and convictions, but who said we need to be so ugly about it all. I believe gratitude, while not a panacea, would address much that ails what has been happening in the country.
Gratitude is not a denial of what is wrong. Gratitude is not about sticking our heads in the sand. Gratitude is not about inaction. Rather gratitude enables us to face difficult and complex problems from a vastly different place in our hearts and minds. Gratitude can be a common ground from which we approach each day with an expectation for positive change, listening, empathy, and respect.
And let us all remember that our walk with Jesus is all about gratitude whether we work as a server, in business, at a school, or even if we work in Washington at whatever level. From beginning to end, scripture is filled with stories of gratitude and what happens when gratitude is lost and replaced by much of what we see happening in our nation today.
I invite you to join me in spending some time thinking about Claire’s words. “Go enjoy your life. Really. I mean that seriously. Go enjoy it because there are people fighting like hell for it.” Ponder how such a stance might lead us to gratitude and how gratitude could change everything in our own lives and those around us.