As I go through my mom’s possessions following her death in July, I continue to find some hidden gems. A few weeks ago I shared a letter she had written about my brothers and me. Recently, behind a photograph I was in the process of hanging up, I found another letter securely taped. The photo was of my mom and dad having dinner in New York City the day he arrived back home when WWII ended. He had been on the beaches of Normandy, in the Battle of the Bulge, and other places of bravery and horror.
When my mom wrote the following letter, she was 20 years old, he 23, and my parents had been married around 6 months. I know she would not mind me sharing excerpts from this letter as I believe her words have much to offer. Remember, when she wrote this letter, she did not know whether she would see my dad again because of the war. Here are the excerpts…
Dearest Peter. This is not a goodby note. This is an I love you note. In it, I want to tell you something I learned today. Love is as sacred as two people make it. It is beautiful only as they allow it to be beautiful. It is as God-like as they wish it. The word love is often misused and hence the world in general gets a very rough and uncouth idea of what it is.
Love is the unselfish gift of one person’s self to another. Unselfish is the important part of love. Only unselfish love can be complete and permanent. Neither you nor I yet has completely unselfish love for each other. Do not be shocked for I don’t believe that we will attain it on this earth or even until we reach the culmination – the merging of our souls with God. But in our desire and striving for it we lift ourselves above ordinary love.
Through my mother’s words of so long ago, I am reminded of what one person in our own era says. “Hate is not the opposite of love, selfishness is.” Indeed, selflessness is at the heart of what love is all about, something Jesus clearly understood and lived by.
My mom’s words are not only invaluable for loving couples to ponder and act upon, but they are words useful to all of us whether in a relationship or not. To be selfless is to follow the footsteps of Jesus and to be selfless is how to relate to those we encounter day by day.