Shortly after my mom died at age 95 in July, my wife Regina found the following letter in my mother’s desk drawer. Her letter is a brief reflection on her three sons, one of whom is gay. While there is much within the letter, at its core, it reflects not only who my mom was, but the essence of Matthew 22: 36-40. I love my brothers and I love and miss my mom.
Written some time ago by Mardee de Wetter:
“On this small earth, we equally receive the love of God. But as the world sees, we are differently disposed. Some of us have lived the simplest sort of lives, cradled from the beginning by loving parents, growing up in ways that pleased. We had the opportunity to meet and fall in love with God’s own choice for us. We spent our lives in chosen fidelity and in constant love for one another.
When children were born to us, one grew up worldly-wise and made his way, living by prescribed civic rules, honored because of his many contributions and loved by his wonderful wife and children. One was born with great sensitivity and spiritual gifts with which to become a pastor, a preacher of unique ability. He too had the great love of his wife and children. Then among the three sons one was born with a difference, though his talent and intellect told us at once he was gifted.
This special one, the creative child, found his rather lonely place among those who compose the music, play the instruments, paint the art, and pen the books. He learned to fend for himself in a world so hostile that those of us who live in pristine elegance of spirit never know their pain.
Every once in a while God looks down and selects a family, so sublimely blessed with understanding that He says, ‘Ah, here are those that will welcome this child of mine and learn of him and love him. They will always cherish him as my own child, vouchsafed to them. He, in turn, will open doors for all of them as many lives are better for his touch.’
Does it matter then that the self-righteous Pharisees offer him condemnation? Does it matter that the church which nurtured him through childhood now renounces him? Does it matter that he who served his church in its choir, as an acolyte, as a vestryman now finds rejection? It must not matter, because in the end this is God’s world and Jesus takes each one of us unto his breast and comforts us. Our family, learning through its pain, has found that all God’s people are intended to share His Rule of Love, as Jesus, our persecuted Savior, taught the Way.”
Robert – As a mother to a gay son, this spoke volumes to me! Love is love is love, and as your mother and her three sons exemplify, we are all god’s people and deserve happiness and acceptance. Thank you for sharing this beautiful letter with us.
How beautiful! She must be so pleased and happy with her son, my friend, as you share with all this dear, heart-filled letter. These are words we desperately want and need to hear….ones you not only spoke but radiated in your life. Thank you and I miss you.
How very, very eloquently penned by someone who has obviously felt the stinging pain of discrimination and prejudice toward a loved one. Thank you too Paul, our dear friend, for sharing this tender communication.
It is for this misunderstood/misconstrued reason the Christian adage states, “we will be quite surprised by those who we see have arrived in ‘heaven’ “. We (who adhere to Christian doctrine/dogma) mistakenly believe we have an exclusive insight into the spiritual “right and wrongs” of life and matters of who we can/cannot love, or care for whomever we choose….we must be much more careful of such judgements, lest we be judged. The verse “Man looketh upon the outward, but God looketh upon the heart” are words to live by.
Thank you again for sharing this most profound and intimate insight.
Brad & Carol, thank you for your loving and affirming comment! This means the world to me – you both continue to be a beautiful and inspiring example to me of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. May God bless you and keep you and your family in the infinite love that defies understanding and overcomes all of our limitations.
Two scriptures come readily to mind, Let him who is without sin cast the first stone….. and Woe unto the scribes and Pharisees. etc Matt 23. There must be as lot of those in your brother’s church. It was because of people like that I chose to leave the full time ministry of the church I was serving.
Beautiful. Thank for sharing Mardee de Wetter’s precious words of Wisdom, Love and Faith. God Bless+ And enjoy the Gift’s of Autumn’s Splendor
Ah, now I see somewhat more clearly. Thank you for sharing your Mom’s perspective plus her LOVE and the LOVE of God with us. Some us are blessed with incredible loving mothers and I believed it’s a gift we’re meant to pass on.
thank you all so much – deeply appreciate the thoughtful comments – blessings
This column, an excerpt from your powerful message last Sunday, speaks loud and clear Jesus’ message, the foundation of our Christian faith, “Love God and love one another.” Robert your messages continuously underscore this tenet as the Chapel’s mission statement. Snowmass Chapel’s entire staff is so outstanding in radiating this message, that my faith has been strengthened and I feel deep gratitude that I am fortunate enough to be part of this worship community.