If you live in Snowmass Village, you are well aware of it. If you reside largely or sometimes in other spots, you may or may not be aware that the last week or so here has been quite snowy. Snowy and very cold. The yellow Aspen leaves seemed to have been caught off guard by the chilly cloudy weather as the leaves went from bright colors immediately to brown and the ground.
It has been said that winter is snow plow season and summer is orange cone season (referring to the road construction that happens during our short warm time of year). But around the Village in the last week or so, something else has happened relatively rapidly. Snow plow companies have lined countless driveways and parking areas with snow plow sticks which mark where the boundaries are between asphalt and dirt, road and curb, trees and plowable areas. I guess some are expecting a snowy winter as some of the sticks I have seen are over 10 feet tall.
Marking these boundaries is important. Most of us have seen what happens when there are no such boundaries, especially when the snow melts. Plantings are trashed, parking lot spaces are dug up, some homeowners are upset, and often there is just a general mess left to clean up. I think the women and men around here who plow do an amazing job and I realize there is no way they can always stay precisely within the markers. But that said, I can only imagine what would happen if there were no boundary sticks or markers.
While snow plow boundaries are helpful where it snows a lot, there are other boundaries that are essential regardless of where we live. This other kind of boundary is all about knowing where one’s life ends and another begins. All about having a clear picture as to what is on my side of the fence and what is on yours.
Dr. Henry Cloud has written a book, I believe, everyone should read and embrace. The book is entitled “Boundaries” and within it boundaries are defined as “what is me and what is not me.” Boundaries help us take responsibility for those things that are “on my side of the fence” and to let go of those things for which we are not responsible.
When we have clear boundaries we are more resilient in life, get a lot more done, are more effective in those areas for which we are accountable, and live with a greater capacity to be helpful to others. When we don’t have clear boundaries, we end up exhausted, living in a cycle of never being able to do enough, we displace responsibility for our own lives onto others, we experience guilt and low self-esteem, and we can end up feeling like a driveway that has been plowed over.
As we move into the winter months, I invite you to join me in envisioning snow plow markers. To then envision your own life and what your boundaries are. Do you have them and know what they are? Are there some areas in which you need greater boundaries? Are there other areas in which you need to reinforce the boundaries that are already present?
Without a doubt, God calls us to live with boundaries. And yes, God calls us to cross our boundaries when another person is in a place of being incapable of caring for themselves, by implementing a new set of boundaries that will enable us to care in a loving way that keeps us whole.
I invite you, once again, to join me in exploring our personal boundaries and where we may need some work putting them in place for any winter season of life ahead.